broken for just a second.

this is me being weak for a little bit.

I really... really miss him.

I miss texting him all the time.

I miss calling him retarded names that just jumped to my mind. Like dingbat.

I miss his indignation at being called those names.

I miss being able to call him my boyfriend.

I miss having that special claim over him.

I miss holding his hand.

I miss his hands, period. They're amazing. They fit mine and I love how they look.

I miss them tickling me.

I miss his arms wrapping around me all the time, like when I'd be looking in the fridge and he'd just come up behind me and hold me, just to be near me.

I miss him wanting to be near me.

I miss when he'd randomly give me flowers that lasted forever.

I miss calling him and leaving him voicemails that never said anything but I just giggled the whole time because I was imagining him listening to them after work.

I miss seeing him at work and laughing and hiding from him and then giving him the fastest hugs so his boss wouldn't see.

I miss giving him neck massages when he was dying from work.

I miss missing him when he was at work but knowing that he'd text or call right afterwards to say that he missed me too.

I miss him texting me first thing in the morning and saying good morning even if it was one in the afternoon.

I miss waiting for those texts for hours and wanting to text him just to talk but not wanting to wake him up.

I miss telling him to go to bed and then talking for five hundred more years.

I miss him falling asleep in my lap because he was so tired but wanted to hang out with me anyways.

I miss talking to him in his sleep and laughing because I said funny things but he was asleep and not listening.

I miss him waking up and yawning and saying sorry but really I didn't mind.

I miss him saying that I was the best thing to wake up to.

I miss him calling me beautiful even when I'm not.

I miss him calling me cute even when I'm not.

I miss being able to tell him that he's so attractive and all the things I love about him and then arguing with him over them.

I miss getting into quarrels over who loved who more.

I miss how we never fought until we broke up.

I miss looking at his eyes and seeing them be green and blue at the same time.

I miss playing with his super soft hair while he would hold me.

I miss looking up and seeing him smiling his special "Oh that Kira" smile at me.

I miss his jaw. I miss playing with it and rebuking him for not shaving or praising him when it was smooth but loving it no matter what state it was in.

I miss him taking my hand and rubbing it against his jaw to show me that he shaved and how happy it made him that it made me happy.

I miss him trying to lick my nose or touch my ears and then freaking out until he won. Because he did almost every time.

I miss hugging him and always kissing his neck really fast.

I miss his bottom lip and tugging on it when he was pouting.

I miss him being happy.

I miss being able to make him happy.

I miss making him mad or sad and then being able to give him a single look that would instantly make everything okay and then he'd take me in his arms and kiss me and we'd laugh and I'd pinch him.

I miss pinching him.

I miss that little jump he'd make with a tiny squeal in the back of his throat when I pinched him. It made me laugh.

I miss him making me laugh.

I miss being sarcastic with him.

I miss telling him what to do and then say just kidding but he'd do it anyways because he loved me.

I miss him loving me.

Most of all though, I miss loving him.