Tee shirts with "witty" sayings on them. (click me)

I don't understand why they irk me so, but every time I see someone with "If I throw a stick, will you go away?" or "Don't be fooled. I'm only pretending to care" plastered across their chest, I want to give them a raised eyebrow, and then maybe preach to them about how, by wearing shirts like that to show people that they don't care about society's rules of old-fashioned politeness (or society in general), they're conforming to the white-trash layer in our people pyramid and reducing their IQ noticeably. I mean, I have this shirt but it's different in my book. Sure, take this as hypocrisy, but at least it's not this.

Random

Sparkle, Sparkle
Glitter and Glee
A coconut just fell up the apple tree.

Laughter

I'm suddenly laughing
A real, gut-wrenching laugh
With tears
And gasps
And short, little bursts
This is the laugh when you realize
Life isn't my problem
After all.

Strong Enough

I'll look between

mirrors

distortion of a body

a crack where

reality slips into

a negative black.

Trimming the

edges,

honing too perfect

a slash of face

exposes

watery images of

fuzzy grey

corrupted lies.

Because of my

deception

you think I'm

strong enough.

I'm only strong enough

to break the mirror.

Famous

I've often wondered what it would be like to be famous. Everyone would know what I'd done and accomplished, or at least my name. Everyone would read my Twitter, post vapid comments, follow me. I'd be out in the world, with my name on the magazines and my hand in someone else's, a big glossy picture on a big glossy tabloid with eye-catching headlines and gossip-fragments. People would talk about me in their empty conversations while whispering in class or painting their nails. I'd know loads of attractive guys who, really, can't be all bad. My phone would be loaded with famous contacts, and I'd have two of them; one for close friends and one for "status friends". I'd have lots of money and a personal trainer who'd whip me into shape, and a stylist that would pour me into the latest fashions, the latest styles. I'd be out from my sister's shadow. And everyone would know exactly how I was feeling.

I've learned... that there are many different ways to cry.

I'm in a love triangle that ends with me.
- one of my two best friends, Krystal Darling.

I wish Neville Longbottom was my boyfriend.