Texting

I was thinking today about why I'm so emotionally drained and mixed up all the time. But then, as I was replying to the hordes of texts I receive, I realized that that's it. Because I have to be something different in each conversation, give something that that person needs. Like today. All at the same time, I had nine different conversations going. I had to be funny, or flirty, or sympathetic, or serious, or deep, or reprimanding, or uplifting. And it's tough. I wonder how it would be if I got rid of texting now. Or if the world did. Would it have any effect? If Daniel, Quentin, Krystal, Brandon, Jackie, Ashlyn, Ben, Loren, and Roger couldn't text me, all needing different things because they're all different people all needing a different part of me, would my down time be more relaxing? Probably, just because I could veg out and not care. But that's not really me. I like caring and helping. I love it when people text me with their problems and want help. I wish I could help more. But does texting really do anything, connect at all? I wish I could split myself and go and talk to them in person. I should invent that. Maybe if I had my entire self available for one person at a time, it would be more than that half-baked feeling I get. You know, when you have to go back and read the previous texts because you can't remember what you were talking about? I feel horrible about that sometimes. But then I'm to tired to care at others.

So I obviously have no idea what this whole post is about. Just mashed up feelings I guess.